The Letter
by CCangel
Summary: Tom and Liz one shot. Liz receives life changing news concerning Tom. Warning: This is a sad one.


The Letter

Liz walked down the streets of Barcelona feeling like she was being watched. She had this feeling for the past couple of days now and for the life of her she couldn't figure out how she could've been made with Reddington's protection supposedly everywhere.

She calmly walked into a café on a side street and took a seat in the booth towards the back of the restaurant. She picked up the menu in front of her pretending to be interested in ordering. She carefully peeked over the menu but nothing seemed out of place. However, she knew better than anyone that appearances were just appearances.

She noticed the waiter coming towards her. "I'm not ready just yet," she said.

The waiter nodded his head but didn't leave. Liz's guard was up and she reached for a weapon that she didn't have.

"Yes ma'am but I'm here to deliver a message," he said. There was something haunting and depressing about his demeanor and voice.

Liz narrowed her eyes at the waiter. She quickly glanced towards the front door thinking how she could possibly fight her way out.

"Stop looking. You're protected," the waiter said. "We have eyes everywhere."

"Excuse me if I don't believe you," Liz gritted out.

"Jacob," he responded without missing a beat.

"What?" she asked.

"Jacob has people on you. We owe him. _I_ owe him," he said.

Liz was getting a deep guttural feeling that whatever this man had to tell would be life changing.

"Tom sent you. Where is he?" she inquired earnestly.

" _Jacob_ asked me to give you this," he said handing her an envelope from his apron. "I suggest you read it at home. Now go before you really do get caught by the Major's men."

"What's your name?" Liz asked.

"Hunter," he replied and disappeared into the kitchen.

Liz sat at the booth a minute longer. She quietly slipped from her seat pulling her jacket around her tighter.

When she made it to her apartment she immediately checked her computer to see if Tom sent her anything. No messages. No texts. No calls. Nothing.

Why would he risk meeting someone just to give a letter to her? He should have known better than to involve anyone else. However, what if this news was important? What if he was asking her to meet him somewhere inconspicuous?

Liz sat on her couch and opened the envelope.

 _Dear Liz,_

 _If you reading this letter then you've met Hunter. He is one of the few people I trust to look after your best interest. We've done many assignments together. I even saved his life on a few occassions. He knows how to keep a secret and he will protect you when I can't. Keep him close. If I were in your presence right now you would probably argue with me but I am only doing what I know how to do._

 _I know you still have questions and concerns. I've treated you in such a way that I'm ashamed to even admit to myself. You deserved better than me. I was honest when I told you that you were my greatest success. I had a life I could be proud of. I had a wife I loved and adored and still do. You may not fully understand how deep my feelings are for you but know I would go to the ends of the earth for you._

 _You are my reason for living. You helped me see who I could become without the influence of the Major. I wish you could have gone on the boat with me. I learned so much about myself. I finally learned how to swim. You might have laughed if you saw my near death experience. It was horrible._

 _Liz, I love you. I will always love you. Never forget it. Never question it because I don't think I can handle you not believing in me anymore._

 _I'm sorry babe. I hope you've forgiven me._

 _If you're reading this letter then I've said my final goodbye. I've been made by the Cabal and I'm no longer amongst the living. I never wanted to leave you. I cherish all the good times and the bad times. I don't regret meeting you. I don't regret loving you. I am longer Tom Keen but Jacob Phelps._

 _Forever Yours,_

 _Jacob_

Liz sat there stunned. Tom-Jacob was dead. No, it was impossible. Her hands started to shake as she reread the letter several times not knowing how to react.

She jumped when her phone rang. It was the burner phone Tom gave her before she left the boat.

"Jacob," she answered quickly wishing it was him.

"You read the letter," Hunter said.

"How did you get my number? Where's Tom? Where is my husband?" she yelled.

"I'm sorry Liz but he's gone," Hunter relayed.

"You can't tell me that and not give me anything else. Where is his body? How did it happen? Who-"

"Elizabeth," Hunter interrupted. "I can't go into detail. When the time comes I'll let you know where you can find him," he continued and hung up the phone.

Liz stared at the phone before throwing it against the wall. The familiar ache of anguish rose up in her chest. This wasn't real. He couldn't be dead. He was supposed to wait for her after she found answers. They were going to start over. They were going to be happy this time around. How did she lose another important man in her life?

Liz crashed to floor and curled into a fetal position. She let out a cry that resembled the cry of a lost puppy.

Two years later…

The tombstone read **Jacob Phelps 1980-2015.** There was nothing else to add because Jacob was a mystery to the outside world.

Liz squatted on the grass feeling empty. She traced the letters of his name absent-mindedly. Her eyes began to fill with unshed tears.

"You bastard," she hissed out. "You left me here by myself. How could you go and get yourself killed? Didn't you realize how much I still needed you? I need you to cook for me because I still don't know how. It's pathetic really."

She wiped her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. She said, "I forgave you a long time ago. I just wished I told you sooner. There are so many things I wanted to tell you babe."

Liz pulled out an envelope. "I wrote you a letter. I guess reading it aloud to a grave is kind of stupid but I didn't know what else to do."

Shaky hands fumbled to get the letter out of the envelope.

 _Dear Jacob,_

 _You were the most infuriating yet loving person I ever met. There were so many times I questioned your love for me. I hated you. The thought of you use to make my stomach curl but you managed to worm your way into my heart again and I couldn't be more grateful. You proved yourself. I did notice it babe. I noticed the small hints of Jacob. He wasn't a bad guy at all._

 _I wanted to know him better. I'm sorry I didn't get on the boat. I really wish I had. I'm sorry that I didn't get to say goodbye. Please know that I forgave you a long time ago._

 _I hope you found some peace and I'll see you again._

 _Forever yours,_

 _Liz_


End file.
